Millions Expected to Watch World Lying Championship
Photograph by Rich Graessle / Getty
SAN FRANCISCO (The Borowitz Report)—Millions are expected to watch two legendary prevaricators face off for the world lying championship this Wednesday night.
The event is being characterized in some quarters as a generational struggle, as a fifty-four-year-old upstart seeks to wrest the crown of mendacity from an aging but still dangerous seventy-seven-year-old.
Those who favor the younger man’s chances in this battle of whoppers point to his role in the Dominion Voting Systems defamation lawsuit, which resulted in a payout of $787.5 million, dwarfing the three million dollars the older man was obliged to pay for defaming E. Jean Carroll.
But, according to the renowned promoter Don King, the chance of an upset is precisely what will attract millions of eyeballs on Wednesday night. “For lying fans, this is Ali vs. Frazier,” he declared.
Andy Borowitz is a Times best-selling author and a comedian who has written for The New Yorker since 1998. He writes The Borowitz Report, a satirical column on the news.