Like
too many of us in the world, I’ve witnessed a lot of horror coming out
of Gaza over the years. Those of us who care about humanity, who abhor
violence, who feel for the Palestinian cause are always saddened by the
news of the sorrowful living conditions of an enclave that has been
blockaded for 17 years.
But like most people who haven’t had the misfortune of growing up
within that conflict and occupation, I never felt personally afraid.
Mine was a deep empathy and concern for a people with whom I share a
common heritage and many values. But last week, my inner sanctum was
pierced, and I felt afraid for the very first time in Britain, the
country where I was born and raised. Since that first shudder of fear,
that unsettling lack of safety has only increased with the increasingly
tragic and disturbing events that have followed.
Of course, I understand that neither Hamas rockets nor the Israeli
military, with its white phosphorous and smart bombs, will be targeting
me here in London. But the violent energy of the discourse being spread
by my government will. When my elected leaders, the people to whom I
give my taxes, displayed the Israeli flag on its buildings, including 10
Downing Street and Queen Elizabeth House in Edinburgh, after
the Israeli army publicly declared its plans to cut of water, food,
electricity to 2.2 million civilians the Israeli defense minister called
“human animals”, every cell in my body was seized with the sickening
realisation that my government condones the genocide of people like me.
While it is comforting to know that a snap poll by YouGov showed that
more than half of Brits oppose flying the Israeli flag on government
buildings and the Scottish Parliament declined to fly the Israeli flag
at Holyrood, I still feel afraid.
As a British citizen, am I genuinely safe and protected now? Because
isn’t the British leader saying Arab civilians are a more disposable
kind of human, ones you don’t feel any affection towards or obligation
to protect?
“I have ordered a complete siege on the Gaza Strip. There
will be no electricity, no food, no fuel, everything is closed,” said
Israel’s defence minister Yoav Gallant following the Hamas attacks…"We are fighting human animals and we are acting accordingly.”
Those words are what the UK government ‘unequivocally’ stands with as
it carries high the white and blue colours of the Israeli flag on our
government buildings.
Meanwhile the Palestinian flag was being threatened into hiding by
the Home Secretary, Suella Braverman, another person who is ostensibly
meant to protect me as a British citizen, but who is instead calling the
Palestinian flag, an internationally recognised representation of my
ancestry, a threat.
It is the blanket designation of all Palestinians as dangerous
menaces that threatens me personally. If it was really about Hamas and
blocking publicly expressed support for them then ban the waving of the
Hamas flag. Yes, that’s right. There is a Hamas flag. So why are they
going after the Palestine flag? Israel’s work to collectively erase and
demonise all Palestinians is being done here in the UK.
Our chants are also under attack and distortion. “From the river to
the sea, Palestine will be free” refers to the geographical location of
historic Palestine from the Jordan River to the Mediterranean Sea, two
bodies of water that the current Occupied Territories sit between. The
efforts to twist that call for freedom, justice and dignity into
something insidious and violent says much more about the sadism of
Suella Braverman and her like than of me and my people.
As of writing, the Israeli Defence Forces have dropped the equivalent
of half a nuclear bomb on Gaza, killed more than 4000 people – one
third of them children - they’ve used white phosphorous, they’ve bombed
hospitals, ambulances, schools and the Rafah border crossing. And yet
exhibiting the Israeli flag is not only unimpeded but celebrated even
though the mere sight of it makes me instantly feel that it is my skin
burning from the white phosphorus that Israel has dropped on Gaza.
Of course, despite the attempted clampdown on Palestine marches – and
protests in general following the introduction in June of new
“regulations”- we are still marginally better off here than in France
and Germany where the pushback against public support for Palestine has
been legitimately insane to witness.
Outright bans and heavy-handed tactics by police in full riot gear
against people who are chanting for universal human rights and pleading
for an end to genocide are uncovering worryingly fascistic elements
within these governments. And I am scared. I look at the attacks against
my fellow peace-seekers, my brothers and sisters in Paris and Berlin
and beyond and worry for the repression and hate-stirring against Arabs
and Palestinians that threatens to cross to our shores.
Indeed, in the US, a most horrific murder of a 6-year-old child by
his landlord was a direct result of the relentless reporting of
unsubstantiated, and often incorrect sensationalised gruesomeness
attributed to Hamas and Palestinians at large. Why do I think it was a
direct result? Because Wadea Al Fayoume, a Palestinian-American, had
previously warm relations with his landlord. In fact, the little boy ran
into the arms of Joseph Czuba when he saw him enter his apartment only
to be met with 26 stab wounds.
The mental and emotional wellbeing of Arabs and Palestinians in the
UK, particularly those with family and friends in Gaza, are perilous.
Besides the UK government’s overwhelming support for Israel, the private
sector has also jumped on the “unwavering” bandwagon, sending out
emails to staff and public statements in defense of Israel.
Some Palestinian staff I’ve spoken to at these institutions feel
viscerally shaken by their company’s willingness to sanction genocide.
They don’t feel safe at work. Some have taken time off or avoided the
office. Not only is their ancestral trauma - the memories of parents
and grandparents being killed or expelled from historic Palestine being
triggered - but the necessary presence of safety, love, affection, and
compassion is completely absent. It is a truly frightening world to
inhabit, and we are all leaning on each other to provide as much support
as possible.
When I was thinking about my last words to end this piece, I received
the news that an Israeli missile had struck al Ahli Hospital in Gaza
City. It was full of injured and displaced Palestinians. Nearly 500 were
killed and more than a thousand wounded. My heart started racing
rapidly and I began to hyperventilate with what I realised was a panic
attack. The scale of this horrific incident was too much for my mind and
body to absorb. My friend stayed on the phone with me in silence as I
kept my head between my legs and tried to regulate my breathing. This
was an attack on the very heart of humanity, for me and millions of
others. I only wish people could see that.