MEXICO CITY (The Borowitz Report)—In her first major address since being elected president of Mexico, Claudia Sheinbaum warned that “remorseless criminals” from the US must be prevented from illegally entering her country. “These gangsters attack judges, pay off witnesses, and use threats and intimidation to undermine the rule of law,” she said. “We cannot let their crime wave spread to Mexico.” She criticized the United States for so far failing to incarcerate the vilest of these miscreants, who leads a criminal organization based in New York City. “This is madness,” she said. “This monster committed 34 felonies, and yet he roams free.” |