WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene said on Thursday that Doug Emhoff, the husband of Vice President Kamala Harris, has access to a powerful space laser that he will use to steal the election. Greene said that Emhoff’s “interstellar laser craft” is currently surveilling swing-state voting sites, “preparing to identify ballots cast for President Trump in order to burn them to a crisp.” Another cause for concern, the Georgia congresswoman warned, is that Emhoff and Harris are “extremely close.” “Kamala Harris talks to Doug Emhoff every day,” she alleged. “You would never see President Trump do that with Melania.” |