It was the end of a joyous week, the likes of which we haven't seen in ten months. On Wednesday, we took down Hamas chief Ismail Haniyeh in Tehran; on Friday, we took down Kayra Ozdemir in the Paris Olympics. We took down Haniyeh with a bomb, the Turkish judoka was taken down by ippon in 15 seconds.
There is more in common with the two takedowns than it seems: both aroused an overwhelming wave of national pride and joy; the Victory supermarket chain even opened a table in honor of the first takedown, but both takedowns were intended for exactly this reason. Both lack any purpose, apart from honor, satisfaction, pleasure and national pride. It's nice and comforting to know we took down a Hamasnik and a Turkish athlete.
Zionist politicians competed with each other over who would embrace the two takedowns more: Yesh Atid leader MK Yair Lapid and Labor leader MK Yair Golan were so excited by both. Finance Minister Bezalel Smotrich made the link, "This victory is what [judoka] Peter Paltchik did this evening against his Swiss opponent and what [judoka] Inbar Lanir did to her opponents in three matches. We defeated and subdued them."
Journalist Shai Golden expressed the spirit of the times even more precisely, "Raz Herzko. Israeli warrior. We have the best women warriors on the mat and on the battlefield. Go, go, Israel! The people of Israel live!" Living, on both the mat and on the battlefield.
It's a bit unfair to compare a sport in which Israel succeeds honorably and legitimately with assassinations, in which Israel succeeds dishonorably and illegitimately. But the comparison is invited when you know that so many Israelis, probably the absolute majority, treat the two fields similarly. Medals are won only in sports, but see how Israelis award themselves medals for assassinations too?
"In two breathtaking assassinations, Israel restored for six hours what it once was: a country that can dwarf Hollywood movies," said Ben Caspit in embarrassing childishness. These are our best hours, the hours in which we kill people, not to mention murder people, like the mafia, like shady regimes. Our hours are the most beautiful when most of the world hates us to the core.
Silver medallist Raz Hershko of Israel reacts after receiving her medal, Friday.Credit: Kim Kyung-Hoon/ REUTERS
Thank you, Mossad, for those six beautiful hours that we knew, like the hours of judo at the Olympic Games, like the floor exercises of Simone Biles. Thank you, media, for whitewashing these murders and their iniquities while singing them songs of glory. The assassination that has benefited Israel has yet to be born.
In the six hours that Caspit enjoyed, Israel killed two of its enemies, one a Hezbollah military man, the second a Hamas statesman. Combining the words "Hamas statesman" grates Israelis' ears – there is no such thing in the pages of propaganda – but Haniyeh was the chairman of the Hamas' Political Bureau. It is doubtful he ever held a weapon, despite Israel's whitewashing, and it is doubtful he knew about October 7 in advance.
This is not a song of praise for Haniyeh, nor a lamentation for his death, but a country that murders the man it is negotiating a cease-fire and release of the hostages with has crossed its line of legitimacy. A country that does so on Iranian soil, the day after their new president is sworn in, wants a war with Iran. A country that cheers this is a stupid country: it cheers disasters that are liable to literally land on its head.
It truly ignites the imagination, a bomb that is planted in advance in the right room in the guest house of Iran's Revolutionary Guards. Had "Fauda" written such a deed, it would have been accused of an extreme lack of credibility. It's really nice to know that we can accomplish such a feat. But, damn it, what was it good for? What's the advantage? We'll see the damage in the coming days. It is already noted in the homes, supermarkets and kindergartens, anxious about what is to come. Before the impending disaster, remember all the cheering.