WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Elon Musk revealed on Thursday that the team he assembled to run the federal government are receiving high school credit for their efforts. Treyson Parlow, 16, said he was “pumped” to learn that he would accrue class credits for serving as Secretary of the Treasury under Musk. “Messing around with trillions of dollars has been sick AF,” the sophomore said. “Pretty soon, though, I’m gonna have to quit and take driver’s ed.” Musk extolled the energy and enthusiasm of his young proteges, telling reporters, “There haven’t been this many high school kids involved with the government since Matt Gaetz was in Congress.” TBR Question of the Day: What would be better jobs for Musk and his crew? Leave your comment below: Now More Than Ever: Subscribe to The Borowitz Report Today.© 2025 Andy Borowitz |