WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In what is being called a historic performance, on Tuesday night Donald J. Trump set a new world record for delivering the longest speech that did not include a single fact. Congressional Republicans were awestruck by their leader’s ability, at the age of 78, to give such a sustained fact-free oration. “To stand up there for 99 minutes and not accidentally slip up even once by saying something true?” House Speaker Mike Johnson said. “He’s still got it.” Republicans contrasted Trump’s address favorably with the Democratic response of Sen. Elissa Slotkin, who spoke only briefly but whose remarks were riddled with facts. TBR Question of the Day: How did you spend those 99 minutes? Leave your answer below:Democracy Dies When Billionaires Own Newspapers: Subscribe to The Borowitz Report Today.© 2025 Andy Borowitz |