Canada officially cuts ties with Trump’s America
Canada is the First Nation to Walk Away from MAGA. Proudly. Finally.
🇨🇦 Holy Sh*t
March 27, 2025
I never thought I’d write these words:
Canada just walked away from the United States. We ended our economic and security ties with Trump’s America, but it was historically stunning nonetheless.
Not in some passive, “we’re disappointed” way. Not a strongly-worded letter. Not a polite diplomatic eye-roll. No — Prime Minister Mark Carney gave a full break-up speech on live TV.
“The era of deep economic, security, and military ties between Canada and the United States is over.”
And just like that, 150+ years of the world’s most peaceful, mutually beneficial, boring-but-beautiful border relationship... done - dismantled by one orange blowhard/rapis/felon cosplaying as a capable President when he’s just a Russian asset in a fucking diaper.
This comes after Trump allegedly tried to set up a phone call with Carney, to which Carney said “nah.”
Then this happened. And I couldn't be more proud of my country and Prime Minister.
Fuck Trump.
So What Happened?
Donald Trump — in what might be the most unhinged foreign policy week since “buy Greenland” — slapped a 25% tariff on Canadian auto imports, called Canada a “national security threat,” and floated the idea of annexing us as the 51st state.
Yes. Annexing. Like Putin-lite. Except fatter and with worse grammar.
Then, when Canada pushed back by deepening economic ties with the European Union, Trump jumped on Truth Social and typed this out with his whole chest:
“CANADA IS TRYING TO UNDERMINE AMERICA. IF THEY THINK THEY CAN PARTNER WITH THE EU AGAINST US — THERE WILL BE HARSHER SANCTIONS. CANADA AND EUROPE BE WARNED.”
Cool. So now we’re Venezuela in Trump’s mind.
Carney called that bluff today most soberly and seriously. Canada isn’t taking a break for it’s economic and security alliance - we’re torching it and betting on ourselves with a few other deomcratic superpowers not led by a fucking dotard Putin Puppet.
Carney nailed it. We’re not victims. We have agency and will fortify that agency without Trump’s America.
Carney Just Nuked That Sh*t
Today, Mark Carney made the most consequential announcement of any Canadian Prime Minister in modern history. Visibly pissed but composed, he said enough was enough:
“We have to look out for ourselves. And we will do that.”
“He [Trump] wants to break us so America can own us. And it will never ever happen.”
“We will defend our workers. We will defend our companies. We will defend our country.”
It felt less like a press conference and more like Churchill with better lighting. That wasn’t a press conference. That was world history in the making. A moment that will come to define us as the world’s biggest energy superpower, and it will be done in an unimaginably short period of time because it has to be. Canada will do things not thought possible. And we’re here, so it has to get done.
Trump did this. Not Canada. Not Mark Carney.
HOWEVER, maybe we should think about sending him a gift basket because the butterfly effect of having the dumbest fascist alive be the 47th president of the United States
The Global Fallout
This wasn’t just a press hit — it was a geopolitical earthquake. Here’s what’s happened in just 12 hours:
The Canadian dollar surged as markets responded to Carney’s leadership and a pivot toward Europe.
The Dow dropped 700 points after U.S. automakers panicked over retaliatory tariffs and global realignment.
EU leaders released a joint statement backing Canada and fast-tracking trade + defense integration.
American allies from Germany to Japan are quietly freaking out — not because Canada left, but because it finally did what they’ve all been thinking.
“Canada is now the first country on Earth to formally sever close ties with Trump’s America.”
And it’s about damn time.
🇨🇦 Why This Is EXACTLY the Right Thing for Canada
We bent over backwards for the U.S. for decades. We took the softwood lumber abuse. We let them strong-arm our dairy. We deployed troops beside them. We absorbed economic shockwaves from every Wall Street tantrum.
Went fought in American oil wars and died for Blackwater, Dick Cheney and countless other American autocrats. We were the first country to send firefighters and first responders on 9-11. We adopted Americans in Newfoundland by the thousands that day, too. We send water bombers to help fight forest fires and have always answered America’s calls.
But this? A direct economic assault, a threat to annex, sanctions over our pursuing ties with the EU?
That’s not an ally. That’s an abuser.
And today, we finally stood up and said: “No.”
This isn’t about left vs. right. This is about sovereignty. About democracy. About Canada refusing to be dragged into the MAGA gutter as America flirts with authoritarianism.
Even Americans Are Backing Us
Reaction today from sane corners of America was swift:
Sen. Chris Murphy (D-CT): “Trump has turned our closest ally into a target. This is a catastrophic failure of leadership.”
Liz Cheney: “Canada is right to protect its democracy. We should be protecting ours.”
Even Mitt Romney (yes, still around): “Carney’s decision is what leadership looks like.”
Meanwhile, Fox News spent all day calling Canada a “communist breakaway zone.”
LOLZ.
Fox is State Media. The State is The Un-United States of Trumpistan and Canada didn’t sign up for this shit so Trump’s America can fuck all the way off today.
This Is the Line in the Snow
Make no mistake: this is historic.
It’s the first domino to fall in what could be a full-scale democratic divorce from Trump’s America. It tells the world you don’t have to sit quietly while a madman burns your treaties, punishes your workers, and threatens your sovereignty.
It says: “We’ll build something better — without you.”
Mark Carney just put the grown-ups back in charge. And honestly? It feels good.
We’re so much better than this and Carney is 100: We’re not victims to the whim of the fucking loser in the White House. We now have solid security agreements with several other countries that will be revealed in the days to come. Canada has forged SEVERAL key trade and economic partnerships to replace a significant portion of US business, and we’ll be announcing tariffs and non-tariff related actions (sanctions, export taxes, etc) in the coming weeks as well.
Why? We’re done fucking and we lead from the front. Being the first country in history to break off ties with America (Intelligence sharing too) requires some scroat, but that’s who we are. We’re unafraid. We know what’s important, and kissing the feet of a fascist dictator isn’t on that list.
And Carney? He continues to meet the moment. He’s the leader we’ve been yearning for for years. One that takes this GREAT nation's business, security, and sovereignty seriously.
This isn’t a threat. Carney made promises on behalf of 40 million Canadians who are shoulder to shoulder today (minus a few drunk hillbillies in Alberta and Saskatchewan.
It’s a promise.