WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—The approval rating of South African President Cyril Ramaphosa is poised to skyrocket after he visited the Oval Office on Wednesday and was subjected to Donald J. Trump acting like a dick. Ramaphosa, who was struggling with 35 percent approval before Trump’s tantrum, should see that rating surge to 75 or higher, experts predict. Moments after the meeting, Ramaphosa received congratulatory calls from Ukraine’s Volodymyr Zelenskyy and Canada’s Mark Carney, both of whom saw their fortunes soar thanks to Trump’s dickish antics. After the meeting, Trump took pride in standing up for “the horribly oppressed white South Africans,” noting, “These poor farmers can’t enjoy white supremacy in their own country, so they have to move here for it.” Vote for America’s Top Traitor!The reckoning has begun! Join thousands of TBR readers who have voted for America’s Top Traitor here. Results will be announced on Sunday.Democracy Dies When Billionaire Weasels Own Newspapers: Subscribe to The Borowitz Report Today.© 2025 Andy Borowitz |