WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In what critics are calling an inflammatory move, Donald J. Trump announced on Tuesday that he was sending Stephen Miller to Los Angeles to act as a human repellant. “No one empties a room faster than Stephen,” Trump said. “He’s better than teargas.” But Trump’s plan faces a stiff legal challenge from human rights lawyers, who argue that the use of Stephen Miller violates the Geneva Conventions. Democracy Dies When Billionaire Weasels Own Newspapers: Subscribe to The Borowitz Report Today.© 2025 Andy Borowitz |