WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In one of the most stunning political comebacks in American history, on Monday Donald J. Trump picked the disgraced former congressman George Santos to lead the Department of Labor Statistics. "This is such an honor," Santos told reporters. "I really didn't think I'd get pardoned before Ghislaine." “The American economy added a million new jobs in May and a billion new jobs in June,” Santos declared. “President Trump is creating jobs like crazy—he even gave one to Pete Hegseth.” The unprecedented job growth has boosted Trump’s approval rating, which Santos said currently stands at 140 percent. Now More Than Ever: Subscribe to The Borowitz Report Today© 2025 Andy Borowitz |