NUUK, GREENLAND (The Borowitz Report)—In a friendly gesture by Greenland, on Monday a special envoy from the territory offered to meet White House deputy chief of staff Stephen Miller. “Our envoy has expressed a strong desire for face-time with Mr. Miller,” said Greenlandic government spokesman Hartvig Dorkelson. “He’d like to meet Mrs. Miller as well.” The spokesman did not elaborate on logistics for the meeting, saying only that it would “most likely involve lunch.” “If the meeting goes well, we hope it will whet our envoy’s appetite for other members of the Trump administration,” Dorkelson said. “We would enthusiastically welcome JD Vance.” LIttle Marco’s Big LieThere’s something embarrassing in Marco Rubio’s past that he doesn’t want you to know—and you can read about it here.The Borowitz Report continues to publish thanks to the support of readers like you. © 2026 Andy Borowitz |