THE CELESTIAL REALM (The Borowitz Report)—Stating that He had had “just about enough of this idiot,” on Saturday God wreaked revenge on Donald J. Trump by transforming the United States of America into Greenland. In a terse public statement, the Almighty declared, “Prayers answered, jerkwad.” The act of God coupled with His blistering pronouncement left many atheists reconsidering their positions, nonbelievers reported. In Canada, Prime Minister Mark Carney extended a helping hand to his beleaguered American counterpart, offering, “Since we know how to handle cold weather, we would consider making the United States our eleventh province.” Watch: The Dunce of DavosI pick over the wreckage of Trump’s demented performance at the World Economic Forum here.The Borowitz Report continues to publish thanks to the support of readers like you. © 2026 Andy Borowitz |