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WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Fox News Channel’s top executive said on Monday that the company was “deeply relieved” to learn that the White House’s media ban would only apply to news outlets.
“When I heard about the ban, naturally I was concerned,” Lachlan Murdoch said. “So I called President Trump and asked, ‘Does this impact us?’ And he said, ‘No, this is just about companies that do news. You’re safe.’”
CBS News chief Bari Weiss shared Murdoch’s satisfaction in knowing that her division would be exempt from the ban, stating, “My zero-tolerance policy on news at CBS News is already paying off.”