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MIAMI (The Borowitz Report)— In an embarrassing misstep for the Department of Homeland Security, on Wednesday the failed Brazilian presidential candidate Flávio Bolsonaro was arrested by ICE agents just moments after he landed in Miami.
Bolsonaro, who had been expecting a warm welcome from his political ally, Donald J. Trump, appeared startled when seven immigration officers wrestled him to the ground and zip-tied him.
At a hastily-called press conference in Washington, DHS Secretary Markwayne Mullin said that the agents mistook Bolsonaro for a Latino man they had chased earlier this week in a Home Depot parking lot.
“Initially, our brave ICE agents thought Mr. Bolsonaro with that suspect, who entered our country illegally to find work to feed his family,” Mullin said. “But once he offered proof that he was a fugitive money launderer, they let him go.”